The Dark Knight – Why Bats are Better than Batman
Unless you’ve been living under some sort of rock (or perhaps IN A BAT CAVE) recently, you already know that THE DARK KNIGHT RISES RELEASES TOMORROW.
This excites me for many reasons.
Two: Nolan’s Batman movies have been pretty epic, and I can’t wait to see what this conclusion has in store for us. I expect it will be Oscar nom worthy (that’s nomination, not ‘nom’ eating), and also have enough explosions to shake a Gary Oldman at.
Three: Bats are pretty awesome, whether or not they’re 6 feet tall and clad in teflon or, you know… actual bats. In fact, I would almost *tears eyes away from Bale* — ALMOST, say that real bats are better than Batman.
HEAR ME OUT!
- A brown bat can catch 1200 mosquitoes in — wait for — ONE HOUR. Does Ol’ Wayney up there catch 1,200 criminals an hour? NOPE.
- Bats make up 1/4 of all mammals. That means if you take a random handful of mammals, 25% of those are likely to be bats. (Note: This is not actually what it means, and I do not recommend having a handful of bats ANYTIME EVER.) — the point is, 1/4 of all people are not Batman, so… I forget where I was going with this…
- Bats wash behind their ears. I’ve never seen the back of Batman’s ears, so I cannot say the same for him. Honestly he probably does too, and I bet he smells like a combination of crime-fighting and Old Spice. I bet it’s awesome. *sigh*
- The anticoagulant (translation: thing that stops blood from clotting) found in vampire bat SPIT is used to help human victims of stroke and heart patients. Batman has normal, non-living saving spit – so, again, score one for our little mammalian fliers.
- Tequila – yes, that tricksy little fire-beverage that turns normal people into Facebook cautionary tales – is made from agave plants. One of the major pollinators of agave plants are BATS. They are so important to agave plants that without them, we would not have nearly as much tequila. CHECK MATE, BATMAN.
Are you going to see The Dark Knight? Let me know below and tell me how awesome it is!